home-of-d's Diaryland Diary

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D vs B.

I do my best not to hurt anyone in this life. And sometimes I forget how easy it is to point the finger and push all the blame. My dad once told me never put anything in writing that you donít want that person to read, because shit has a way of coming back on you.

Iíve always kept a diary online, since 2000. And in the beginning it was a place to share my hopes, dreams and heart break. It was a place for me to let it go and stay strong. But for the last while Iíve stopped writing about the good things and let the diary become a place to put my fears and my hurt. Maybe itís a reflection of who Iím becoming overtime, and the truth is that breaks my heart a little bit to see how far Iíve come from that girl who use to love everything.

That girl got kicked hard a few times and Iíve build a serious castle to fend off the potential dragons. Iíve turned myself into a medusa ready to stare down anyone who approaches. Unfortunately Iíve stopped seeing the good; I forgot that sometimes people are on different roads and most of the time if they hurt you itís done unintentionally. Iíve been cutting people off and convincing myself they know that they are hurting you. Most people including myself fail to remember that we have the power to hurt others. We forget the ďIf you donít have something nice to say donít say anything at allĒ lesson Disney tryís to instill in us. Truth is there is good in the people beyond the walls and I have been spending my time making everyone a dragon. I know I canít ever be that girl again, but perhaps I can be a woman in a castle who keeps the drawbridge down? Who puts away her swords and works on being happy and making others happy? We all need more Disney in our worlds and less Brothers Grimm.

11:34 a.m. - 2010-08-30

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